Fracture Lines
by Elizaellen
Summary: This short story takes place immediately following the episode The Campaign. I was never completely satisfied with the way the writers sort of glossed over the “Catherine” incident. This story explores that.


Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS, The Sullivan Company and to A&E.

**Fracture Lines**

_This short story takes place immediately following the episode The Campaign. I was never completely satisfied with the way the writers sort of glossed over the "Catherine" incident. I realize that this story would make some of the dialogue in Ready or Not obsolete but this is my take on what could have happened…_

"Who wants a piece of cake?" Colleen asked bringing the dessert over to the table.

Brian lit up as he thought about cake but when he saw it he wrinkled his face up. "Why's it say congratulations? Ma didn't win!"

Colleen slapped him lightly on the arm. "Brian," she chided.

Sully smiled over at Michaela. "She may not have won the election but she got woman the right to vote. I'd say that's somethin' to celebrate."

"It certainly is," Michaela agreed as Colleen cut into the cake.

"But ain't ya sad about not gettin' elected mayor?" Brian asked, his eyes watching Colleen as she started to pass out the cake.

"I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little disappointed when they read the results. But what happened today is bigger than my being elected mayor. Women don't have the right to vote in our country so it was monumental for Jake to agree to let woman have the vote here."

"Do you ever think they'll change it so woman can vote ma?" Colleen asked sitting down to her own piece of cake after passing the rest out.

"I'm hopeful that someday they will. As a matter of fact women have been trying to get the right to vote for many years. Back east, there are woman called suffragists who work towards that goal. Susan B. Anthony is one of them who is very well known. She often gives speeches and more than once has been escorted out of the voting polls for trying to sneak in to vote." This elicited laughter from those at the table. "I heard her speak once. She was very inspirational."

"What does suffragist mean?" Brian asked, his voice muffled by the huge bite of cake he was chewing.

"Don't talk with your mouth full," Michaela scolded him.

"Sorry," he said as he swallowed. "What's a suffra… that thing ya said?"

"A suffragist is a woman who is in favor of woman voting and works to that end."

"I sure hope woman can vote when I'm old enough," Colleen remarked.

"Me too." Michaela reached over and patted Colleen's hand that lay on the table. Looking up, she noticed Sully was staring at her. Anxiously she bit her bottom lip recalling how he had asked her a few days earlier if she wanted to get back to courting. With the mayoral election firmly behind them, they could pick up again with their relationship. Her stomach felt jittery at that thought as she grew nervous about returning to courting. It had been a while since they had spent much time alone together. Other than when he had rescued her from the dog soldiers, she had been guarded about being alone with him, wanting to protect her feelings. Letting out a long breath, Michaela stood and began to hastily clear the dessert plates trying to dispel the nervousness she was feeling.

"I'm not done," Brian protested as Michaela swooped over and picked up his plate.

"Sorry," she said hastily. Her cheeks felt warm and she knew they were probably beet red. Quickly she turned from the table and prepared to wash up the dishes.

Colleen stepped to her side. "I'll do it, ma," she said. "I'm sure you're tired. It's been a busy couple of days."

"I'm fine," Michaela protested.

Colleen reached over and took the rag out of her hands. "I want to do it," she said firmly. Michaela smiled at her and nodded her head resignedly, recognizing that she wasn't going to win this battle.

Turning back to the table, she noticed Brian was now finished. "I think you better get ready for bed," she suggested. "It's a school day tomorrow."

"Do I hafta? I wanna stay up 'til Matthew gets back from Ingrid's."

"Brian." Michaela's tone was firm and he knew better than to backtalk but it didn't stop him from letting out a sigh as he rose from the table.

Sully smiled and shook his head. "How 'bout I come read to ya?" Brian nodded eagerly as his face lit up and he rushed off to change into his pajamas. Sully rose and started towards Michaela who was busying herself with clearing the rest of the dishes to take to Colleen. "Wanna go for a walk when ya got everything cleared up?"

Sully's breath was warm and it tickled her ear as he spoke sending shivers down her spine. "That would be nice," she mumbled dropping her eyes to the floor, almost afraid to meet his.

Sully wasn't sure why she was suddenly acting so shy. Gently he reached over and took her hand in his giving it a light squeeze. "If ya don't want to," he began but Michaela interrupted him.

"I want to," she assured him raising her head enough to give him a smile.

"Sully?" Brian called. "I'm ready."

"Comin'!" Sully raised Michaela's hand to his lips and placed a light kiss there before letting it go. "See ya in a few minutes." With that he went to read to Brian.

* * *

Michaela grabbed her shawl, wrapping it around herself before she slipped out the door. Sully was waiting for her on the steps and he turned when he heard the door close. He stood and held his hand out to Michaela. Immediately her nerves returned but she brought her hand up to meet his interlacing their fingers together.

"It's a beautiful night," Sully breathed looking up at the twinkling lights that dotted the night sky. "Moon's nice and full."

Michaela tipped her head back to look up into the sky. "It looks so close tonight. Almost as if you could touch it if you stood on your tiptoes." Turning her head she looked back at Sully whose gaze was fixed on her. "Where are we going?" she asked with a slight quiver in her voice.

Sully smiled. "Thought we'd walk down to the creek," he whispered walking in front of her and giving her hand a slight tug.

One foot moved and then the other as Michaela stepped up beside Sully. Slowly they set off for the creek. It was as if her senses were heightened on this glorious spring night. The feel of Sully's fingers laced through her own felt warm and inviting. The smell of honeysuckle seemed to fill the air even though logically she knew it was still too earlier for it. The sound of Sully's breathing seemed to magnify with each step they took and it made her heart catch in her chest. As they neared the creek, the trees cleared allowing the moon to paint the water in a silver hue. The small trickle of moving water made Michaela's heart beat even quicker or maybe it was sheer proximity to Sully that was the culprit.

Sully turned to face her, taking both of her hands in his, as they stopped only feet from the creek. "Guess we can finally get back to courtin' now that the election is over."

"I guess it was silly of me to even run," Michaela replied knowing full well she was changing the subject.

"Michaela," he whispered moving closer now, "I meant it this afternoon when I told ya that ya would have made a great mayor." Michaela smiled modestly while a light blush crept across her cheeks leaving a rosy glow. "'Sides ya accomplished more by losing than ya probably could have by winning."

A surprised look crept over Michaela's face at his comment. "What do you mean?"

"Just that I'm real proud of ya for getting woman the right to vote." Dropping her hands, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

"Oh, Sully," Michaela sighed moving into his embrace.

"But I'm also real glad to get back to this." Slowly he moved closer to her. He had noticed her nervousness and he didn't want to scare her but at the same time things felt so right he couldn't resist. Closing his eyes, he breathed in deeply inhaling her. When their lips met it was in a light innocent kiss. Sully felt Michaela relax in his arms. This encouraged him and quickly he brought his lips to hers again.

The exchange was more heated this time as Michaela parted her lips slightly allowing Sully entrance to her mouth. His hands rested on her back as he held her close. The smell of him filled her senses and the feel of him so close made her weak in the knees. She stumbled backwards a little bringing Sully with her so that she now leaned back against a tree. Sully moved his hands to either side of her on the tree trunk as he moved in to further explore her mouth with his tongue. He was pressing her back against the tree as the kiss continued to deepen.

Suddenly Michaela felt as if she was trapped. The feel of Sully's arms on either side of her were not comforting, rather they made her feel as if she could not escape. As his tongue danced around her mouth gently massaging her own, she began to feel invaded. The pressure of his body up against hers made her feel as if she was drowning. Lightly she pushed back on his chest and Sully took one step back ending the kiss. "Ya okay?" he asked noticing Michaela was gasping for air.

"Yes," Michaela lied trying to shake the feeling of being trapped. Sully took her answer as a sign it was alright to continue and so he leaned down to kiss her again. His lips had barely touched hers when she gave him a hard shove. "Stop it," she said forcefully, surprising even herself with her reaction to Sully's kiss.

Sully moved away quickly regretting his action but wondering what had caused Michaela to respond so strongly. "What's a matter?"

"It's too much, too soon" she replied feeling her body begin to shake.

Sully let out a nervous laugh. "I'm sorry. I thought ya were ready to get back to courtin'."

Michaela turned away from him now as she moved to face the creek. It was hard to explain what she was feeling inside. Taking a deep breath, she whispered, "I do but maybe we should go slow with the physical side of our relationship."

Sully laid his hand softly on her shoulder. "Michaela I'm sorry if I scared ya. It's just that I've missed ya."

"I've missed you too," she admitted as a single tear slipped down her cheek unbidden.

"Then what is the problem?" Sully asked his tone soft and warm.

"We haven't talked about anything. Nothing is really settled," she sighed.

"What haven't we talked about? What's not settled?"

Michaela turned now to look at him, unaware that she was holding her breath as he spoke. Quickly she exhaled and then breathed in deeply trying to screw up her courage. Could she say the one name that had caused so much trouble between them? She didn't want to start a fight with him but she knew that this discussion was necessary if they wanted to move forward in their relationship. "Catherine," she whispered. As the name passed her lips, she took large gulps of air trying to fill her lungs as quickly as possible.

"Catherine?" Sully questioned. "Why are ya bringing her up now? I thought we'd moved past that." Sully's tone was harsh and it stung Michaela as he spoke. He hadn't meant to hurt her but he was frustrated that she seemed to still be upset about something that had happened a while ago.

"We've never talked about it."

"Sure we have. Right after she left on the stage."

Michaela simply shook her head at his statement and turned back to the creek.

She felt as if Sully was pushing her feelings aside and anger began to rise up in her chest at that thought. "That was the one and only time we talked about it," Michaela exclaimed.

"You pushed me away Michaela. I tried to respect that. I'm not a mind reader. I didn't know ya wanted to talk about it again."

"Don't you want to talk about it? How can everything just be okay again?"

"I thought ya just needed some space to heal and then when ya were abducted by the dog soldiers…" Sully's voice trailed off here afraid that he was upsetting Michaela. "I thought that we made up."

Michaela let out an angry snort. "You call that making up?"

"We kissed. Ya told me that ya loved me," Sully replied feeling very confused.

"Emotionally I was drained, Sully. I had just been through a terrifying experience. I didn't know if we were going to live or die."

"So now that ya know we made it out alive, you're just gonna take it all back?"

"That's not what I'm saying!" Michaela exclaimed her voice echoing through the clearing.

"Michaela I risked everything to come after ya and I would do it again. Doesn't that tell ya how I feel about ya? Doesn't that prove to ya that there could never be anyone else?"

"You saved my life Sully and for that I am grateful. But saving my life doesn't give you the right to tell me how I should feel." Her words were no longer angry but filled with some distant pain that was only now finding its way to the surface.

"What are ya sayin Michaela?" His voice sounded tired and frustrated. Truth be known, he was both – tired of the same old arguments and frustrated with what he viewed as excuses for not furthering their relationship.

"I need to know I can trust you Sully. I need to know you aren't going to break my heart again."

These words ripped through Sully's flesh piercing his heart but his pride as well. "You are impossible," he cried out. "After everything we've been through recently, how can ya doubt me?" Michaela opened her mouth to speak but Sully stopped her. "Ya know what I've heard enough. Ya only want to dredge up the past because you're scared of the future. I told ya I was sorry. How many little tests do I have to pass Michaela? Tell me. How many more times do I have to risk everything for ya before I convince ya. If what I've done is not enough, nothing ever will be." With that he turned and started to walk away.

Michaela's heart panicked as she watched him leave. She hadn't meant to push him away. She needed to talk though about everything that had happened. There were still so many doubts in her mind about her and Sully; she needed them assuaged before moving forward. Her tears came quickly now and she let them fall unwiped as she sank to the ground. Wrapping her arms around her legs, she pulled her knees up to her chest burying her face there.

Sully slowed his pace as he moved through the trees. Stopping he leaned back against a tree trunk letting out a slow deep breath. Things had been so promising earlier. What had gone wrong? He had not gone far away from the clearing and it wasn't long until he heard her muffled sobs. His heart broke knowing she was crying because of him. It was this and this alone that made him start back.

At first, he did not see her as his eyes swept the clearing but then he noticed the small figure pulled into a ball on the ground. Quickly, he stepped towards her not sure what to say or do, but knowing that he would do anything to take away her pain. Lowering himself to the ground, he tentatively reached out and touched her knee. "Michaela," he whispered.

"Leave me alone!" she cried out not really meaning it.

Sully felt her words like a dagger cutting into his soul. It was what she had told him after Catherine left. The urge to run away became strong but he pushed past it. His stomach felt queasy at the thought that she was going to push him away once more. "No," he began, his voice hardly audible. "I think part of the problem is that I've left ya alone too much."

The gentleness of his voice was soothing and Michaela looked up intrigued by his statement. She sniffled loudly as she tried to control her crying. "What do you mean?"

"I left ya alone with all your worries for too long and I think now they've had the chance to take root and grow when we should have gotten rid of them long ago." Sully let go of her knee now that he had her attention. They sat across from each other staring into the other's eyes.

1"So now you want to talk?" Michaela's tone continued to be biting but Sully tried to ignore it.

He nodded his head. "I think we need to talk." The way Sully had emphasized the word we made Michaela's heart leap out of her chest. The fact that he referred to them as a couple gave her some hope. Sully grew nervous again as he watched her wondering if he really had seen a smile pass across her face moments ago but hardly let himself hope. "I'm not sure where to start," he confessed.

Michaela swallowed hard. She had so many questions that she still needed answers to. It would be easy to pick one of them to begin with. Letting out a shaky breath, she said, "Could I ask you something?" Sully nodded feeling a sense of dread creep into his chest. "Why was it so easy for you with Catherine?"

Wrinkling his brow, he looked at her trying to ascertain her meaning. "I'm not sure I understand what you're askin'."

"You always told me you fell in love with me the first day you saw me but it took you so long to tell me how you felt. With Catherine things happened so quickly..." Michaela's voice faded off here as she hoped Sully understood what she was trying to convey.

"Nothing happened with Catherine," Sully protested.

Anger rose up in Michaela at his continued denial of what she had seen between the two of them. "I don't call a kiss nothing," she returned her voice even not betraying her hurt or anger just yet.

Sully turned away from her suddenly trying hard to swallow the lump that was rising in his throat. Michaela could hear his ragged breaths and she was unsure of what his change in demeanor meant. A silence filled the clearing as they both sat there, Michaela considering Sully while he looked at the water. In a low voice he finally spoke, "We could understand each other. She had lost her family - the only one she had ever really known. I know what that's like. The town rejected her in the same way they reject me for being friends with the Cheyenne."

"Was that all?" Michaela asked. "There wasn't a moment when you imagined the two of you together?"

"Do ya really want me to say?" Sully asked turning now to look at her, knowing the answer was going to hurt.

"Please," Michaela pleaded her eyes filling again with tears.

"Yes," Sully replied weakly. "There was a moment when I thought about what my life would be like with her."

"Why Sully?" Her voice was shaky as she asked him and as he raised his eyes he saw the fresh moisture on her cheeks.

"She needed me."

Michaela heard the three words but she also heard what wasn't said. Catherine needed him and she didn't. The hurt that his words held was evident and she remembered the night outside the barn when they had fought about Catherine. He had told her that she was always too busy or too nervous to spend time with him alone. The same hurt was in those words as the words he had just spoken. "I need you Sully," she began, reaching out her hand to him and gently laying it on his shoulder.

Sully's body shook with suppressed tears but he continued as if he hadn't heard her. "She wanted to stay with me Michaela. She wanted to kiss me, to give me gifts. She wanted to be close to me. She made me feel needed - wanted. I wasn't in love with her but it felt good to be wanted like that." Sully lowered his head feeling completely drained emotionally and physically. Time passed slowly as he waited for Michaela to respond.

Michaela knew that Sully had bared his soul to her and this softened her heart considerably though it pained her to hear what Sully had said. For so long she had focused on her hurt and not even realized how he might be hurting as well. "I do need you," she whispered squeezing his shoulder. She felt his hand slip over top of hers clutching at it as if it was his lifeline. "I need you so much that it frightens me sometimes."

Sully turned now so that he could see her face. He knew what it was like to be on his own to not have to depend on anyone. It scared him to admit how much he needed her. Was it possible though that it was different for her as a woman? "You don't need to be frightened," Sully whispered trying to reassure her.

Michaela breathed in deeply. "You hurt me Sully," she reminded him. "That happening again frightens me."

"I never wanted to hurt you Michaela and it pains me that I did. What do I have to do to prove that you can trust me?" His words weren't biting like before. They were simply seeking an answer, wishing to make things right.

Michaela thought for a moment. "I want to trust you again but I worry that we are so different. You told Catherine that the two of you were the same. Is that what you want?"

"No." Sully moved now to face her completely. He removed her hand from his shoulder but continued to hold it within his, running his thumb over her knuckles. "We were the same because we had been through similar experiences. She was so lost Michaela that I wanted to take away her hurt and confusion. It was more pity than anything." Michaela nodded her head but did not look up to meet her eyes. "I want you," Sully continued. "I need you," he confessed closing his eyes before the tears threatened to overtake him once again.

"I don't know how to be with you Sully," she admitted. "You were right I am nervous to be alone with you. The feelings that you stir inside of me..." Her voice faded here as she blushed deeply.

"Don't ya think it's the same for me?"

"But what if.."

"What?"

"I worry things will go too far," she admitted finally raising her eyes a little, scared of what Sully's reaction might be. Yet she found only love in his eyes.

"Michaela I would never let things go too far. You're far too important to me." Michaela grew silent again and Sully couldn't help but wonder if she was thinking about his past again. She surprised him though by rising from the ground and walking a little distance away from him. He began to fear that he was losing her but he didn't know what else to say to convince her.

What he didn't know was that it wasn't his past on her mind but hers. "I've never been with a man," she whispered into the trees, half hoping Sully hadn't heard her.

Sully felt his whole body relax as the fear left him. Quickly he rose and went to her intending to take her in his arms. At the last minute he stopped without touching her, afraid how she might react. "You don't have to worry about that," Sully replied. "I ain't gonna do anything to disrespect you."

Michaela turned quickly and wrapped her arms around him needing to feel him close. "Oh Sully," she said as tears poured from her eyes soaking his shirt. Sully held her closely when he felt sure she was comfortable. Lightly he stroked her head and her back trying to offer whatever comfort he could.

After a few moments, he pulled away slightly to look down at her. "Will we get over this Michaela? Can we heal?"

Michaela smiled at his use of the word heal. Slowly she nodded her head. "I think healing has already begun," she whispered.

"Can we get back what we lost?" Sully asked really meaning would she trust him again.

Michaela understood what he was asking. "When a bone breaks," she began, "it takes time to heal it. While it's healing you can't put pressure on it. You have to rest it and leave it alone. But when it has healed fully, the place where the fractured occurred is actually stronger than before it was broken. I think time has already begun the process of healing for us."

"And tonight we've spoken what was in our hearts."

Michaela nodded. "We will be stronger than before." She laughed as she said it and Sully smiled down at her with a questioning look.

"I'm glad to see ya smilin' but what's so funny?"

"I told Dorothy that love was supposed to be true and pure. That it shouldn't be so complicated. But the truth is that if Catherine had never come here, if none of this would have happened -" She paused here anxiously biting her bottom lip. "Then I wouldn't have known how much you need me to want to be with you."

"And I wouldn't have known how frightened ya are," Sully added. "Everything has a reason – a purpose- even the painful stuff."

Michaela closed her eyes as she whispered, "Yes." When she opened her eyes she felt like a new person. Looking up at him, the nervousness from earlier returned.

Gently Sully leaned in placing a light kiss on her forehead and holding his lips there as he breathed in the scent of her hair. "I love you," he whispered pulling her close.

"I love you," Michaela replied feeling her heart warm. She pulled her head back and looked up at him invitingly. "Did you still want to get back to courting?" she asked her heart feeling light and carefree for the first time in awhile

"Umm-hmm," he replied finding actual words rather difficult at the moment.

"And sparking?" she whispered as the rosy hue appeared on her cheeks once more.

Sully smiled down at her. "Only if ya feel comfortable."

"I want you to know that I need you… that I want you," she replied hoping he understood how difficult admitting this was for her.

Her words touched Sully's soul and quickly he leaned down to claim her lips. He had meant the kiss to be short and sweet but it quickly grew and changed. Reminding himself of everything that had recently transpired he pulled back some only to find Michaela pushing into him all the more. Ever so subtly her lips parted, enticing and inviting him inside. Slowly he ran his tongue along her bottom lip teasing her before she brought her own tongue to meet his. The kiss deepened as their tongues entwined.

There was no sound other than the gently flowing water as the two sealed their reunion with heated kisses. Yet if one could hear a bone mending, if one could hear the hole in a heart closing, if one could see how strong the new bond that was being forged truly was – they would have stood in awe of the unbreakable cord that now bond these two souls together. They did not know what the future would hold but they would face each new trial together, drawing strength from each other as they learned to trust and love deeper each day.

_

* * *

__Oh gracious… I hope everyone enjoys this! I am kind of nervous about this one for some reason. But seriously I want to know what you think…feel free to love or hate it and to let me know! Thanks so much for reading!_


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